You're not doing it right

We got a brochure in the mail from Starbucks with our paper yesterday. After leafing through it, we've learned that we're ordering our coffee wrong. Instead of barking out "Grande Coffee", I should be saying "Grande Coffee, without room, with legs". Man, do I feel dumb. All this time those people behind the counter (sorry, barristas) have been secretly snickering to themselves after I shoot off my all-too-brief order. I was unaware that my coffee order should sound like a doctor's prescription: "I'll have a grande, quad, ristretto, nonfat dry cappucccino, please... I'll take it as needed with water. Thanks!" Perhaps I should just resign myself to heading to the Dunkin Donuts or Tim Hortons, where I can feel at home with just asking for a coffee without having a playbook at hand (oh yes, they give you a form to fill out so you can find out what your true drink is and write it down in case you forget that you really wanted your coffee "misto" and end up with something that resembles...uh... coffee). Thanks to you, Starbucks, for the edumacation of this simple coffee drinker!


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