Too good to keep to myself

Last weekend while doing the grocery shopping, JoDee and I happened upon quite the breakfast find. Meijer was clearing out a whole bunch of oatmeal called "Breakfast Blast". Since it was over half off, we decided to try one. They had boxes and boxes of this stuff on the shelf, and we both wondered out loud of the stuff was any good.

There are three flavors in the Breakfast Blast pantheon: Smores, Choco Chip, and Cinnamon Toast. On Saturday, JoDee and I decided to try some of our oaty booty, and we both chose a packet each of the Choco Chip. I poured the packet into a bowl. It looked pretty ordinary for instant oatmeal: oats, sugary substance, and a smattering of chocolate chips. I wondered what technological marvel Quaker might have come up with to keep the chips from melting under the extreme temperatures they would be subjected to from the boiling hot water. After pouring the water, I realized no such precautions had been taken, and the chocolate chips turned to instant goop on the surface of the oatmeal. Either I was in for an awesome sugary treat, or this was the harbinger of doom.

JoDee and I sat down to eat, and I took the first bite. It was...

...not good.

By not good, I mean I wasn't sure what the hell I had just put into my mouth. It vaguely tasted chocolatey, much in the same way those nasty milk chocolate foil-wrapped Easter Eggs taste vaguely like chocolate (but taste more like paraffin). This chocolatey burst I was expecting tasted like over sugared oatmeal. I think they were trying for a chocolate chip cookie, but fell way short of the goal, as only thorough market testing could achieve.

JoDee looked at my face, and asked "how is it"?

Figuring she was about a spoonful from never touching the stuff ever again, I didn't deny her the initial spoonful.

I was right. She didn't last much past the initial spoonful before she was cleansing her pallete with peanut butter toast. I ate the whole bowl. I'm strange that way.

The sad part is the combination of oatmeal, chocolate chips, and sugar should have been a no-brainer. Chocolate oatmeal cookies are awesome, yet they got lost in the translation somewhere in this cereal.

When I went to clean up, I childishly smirked at the little runs of chocolate chips in the bowl. Somehow they seemed a fitting end to the whole ordeal.


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