- I love to cheat the system. I've used other browsers (w3m), incognito mode, my phone. Anything to keep certain things off of the web browsing history. Things like looking at the new releases of Role Playing Games, or looking up an artist on Wikipedia. I'm not particularly good with honesty to myself.
- When I am honest with myself and have a goal I can do some things that surprise myself. Like spending hours working on a photo-booth for a friend's wedding. Or doing a weekly review without having to look at what is going on in the world while I'm doing it (hey, gotta make sure there's no external input coming in, right?)
- I'm a happier person when I'm not trying to live my life through other people. This is one of those "of course, you idiot" moments, but it's especially prescient for me. I follow a lot of people who are working in industry and creative endeavors that I admire and would like to join. But I also see what they go through on a daily basis, and it terrifies me. Would I be able to make the same decisions, and have the same courage and strength to face their resistance and make something creative? I'd like to think I could, but there's some safety in just letting someone else experience it and watch from the sidelines. Deep down I want them to succeed because it makes it somehow more palatable for me to succeed when I self-select me to do these things. Or at least it should, but then the self-doubt reigns me in and slaps me around a while. "What makes you think you could?" If you ever wanted a heaping helping of "resistance", social media and following people doing what you want to be doing is a great way to start.
These are all things that conceptually I knew, but this experiment has codified and clarified them for me. Maybe I'll learn something new along the way on this journey. At the very least I'm learning that it's better to be making things than watching other people make things for you.
The journey continues.