And the wheels fell off the wagon.
I've been pretty good thus far about not doing the whole Social Media and "bad browsing" habits up until around Wednesday of this week. That's when the wheels fell off the proverbial wagon. I chalk it up to a combination of things, but mostly it's because I... well...
Social media is really, really good at letting you not think about where you are in the world.
And conversely it's very, very good at making you not like who you are in this world. Not intentionally of course (Social Media has no agenda to speak of, it just is).
On Tuesday we had an event at work that gave me a pretty big epiphany about myself. The event was "what did you want to be when you grew up" and you were encouraged to dress up as what you wanted to be when you grew up. When I was in 5th grade, I wanted to be a Game Designer like Chris Crawford. But that's a little hard to pull off, as game designers don't have a uniform that easily distinguishes them from other people. (Oh look, a surgeon, a baseball player, and that uniform must mean you're a designer). So I went with one of my other "want to be's" and wore a Rush T-shirt (which got me a lot of compliments, but that's beside the point). One of the instruments that I always wanted to play was drums.
What I realized later in the day was that I've already achieved these things, to a point. I design games (to a level that is nowhere near Crawfordian) and I play drums (to a level that might get me through one or two Rush songs should the opportunity arise). I am a game designer, and I am a drummer. That was a huge realization for me. It was liberating that the only thing I was striving for was the level at which I wanted to be designing and playing.
Well, when you have an epiphany like that, the next day where you get to live with the levels you are at can be a little disheartening.
And disheartening is the mother of of all bad habits where the habit can be a bit of comfort.
I knew this point would come eventually, but I was hoping it might come later in the month.
I'm going to continue blogging the progress. Just because you fall into the mud doesn't mean you have to stay there.