Drop the expectation

I just ran into this with one of the notes that I wrote. In it I was discussing what I wanted to do for game programming / design and such, and the line that struck me (other than they're two sides of the same coin) was the following statement: "drop the expectations of how this should be and feel because they are bullshit". I think too often we get stuck into how we should be feeling while we're doing something, whether that's meditation, doing an activity, or even just "being uncertain(tm)" (am I being uncertain enough? I don't know.) Once we drop how our expectations are of what we're doing and feeling then we can really explore them. Instead of "I should be feeling calm, relaxed, and in control" perhaps we're feeling bored, stuck, antsy, and distracted. Maybe the great painters all got that way until they got into the flow. Maybe Leonardo daVinci got bored and procrastinated a ton (apparently the internet seems to think so). Perhaps we can set aside our romantic ideas of looking directly at our work with angels descending staircases with laurels and halos to put upon our heads as procrastination (manifested as a goat, because why not) cowers in fear behind a credenza. Maybe the whole point is to recognize that by just doing the work, however imperfect we feel in that moment, we can keep progressing toward our ideals.


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