A New York Assemblyman has proposed legslation to tax videogames, fast food, and television commercials in order to fund obesity prevention. I'm not sure how laugh-out-loud this is for some of you, but for me, this is absolutely ridiculous. The sad thing is, though, that while this legislation has no chance of passing, there are certain law makers who are thinking along these lines. That's how we got gas taxes to pay for road construction (hah hah), and cigarette taxes to pay for smoking reduction and education ("hey kids, don't smoke, m'kay?"). And how, pray tell, would you tax a television commercial? Local broadcasters would scream bloody murder. Par usual, when the problem seems too complicated to solve, just propose a tax to deter its use and say that you're using the proceeds to do research to prevent it.

I thereby propose a tax on stupidity, since there are many many stupid people out there who are endangering themselves and each other as we speak. This trend of stupid people is increasing at an alarming rate. Some very stupid people have even infiltrated our sacred halls of government, enacting stupid laws and protecting the lifestyles of the stupid. This tax would fund initiatives to reduce the general stupidity of people, and would enhaance the quality of life for all. It's really simple. After you do something stupid, send me a dollar. The negative reinforcement will keep you from doing stupid things. This is also retroactive for anyone who has held public office in the last thirty years. I expect this tax to create billions in revenue, which will be used to further stupid people education.

Pay up Felix Ortiz, you owe me a dollar.