Designing a Well Lived Life: Checking In (November 2020)

Checking in for November for my "Designing a Well-Lived Life" blogging. This is about making small changes during the year to make larger changes.

  • Dropping expectations: Still finding this both easy and difficult. Certain things I've been able to drop with no problems, but there are still things that I would like and still want to achieve. That said I've found that by taking my expectations and removing them bit by bit that it does help. Letting things be as they are in the moment is one of the greatest gifts I've given myself related to my productivity and my anxieties for the future. I can only work in this moment. What others think of what I do is beyond my capabilities or reach. Completion is success, and returning to do better work is what counts.

  • Physical Health: We've been walking more, but the days are starting to get shorter and colder. Will need to make more time for this as we can.

  • Writing more: When I put my mind to it I can do the work of writing, but I've also been able to procrastinate a lot in this area. I also do my writing in the morning, so if I get up later then it really bollixes up the works. Need to allocate more time to this and give myself permission to do this even when I don't feel like it.

  • Programming more: Fell off of the wagon on this. None of what I'm doing outside of work is related to programming. Going to let this go for now. I still have things that I want to do in this area but right now it feels like that part of me is dead. Not sure how to rekindle it at the moment. It could be just some burnout or lack of direction. Will revisit this in the new year.

  • Mindfulness: Still working with being present in the moment.

  • Decluttering: Made some progress this month by moving out cruft. Still more work to be done.

  • Deeper work: Feel like I'm flirting with this more than actually engaging. Going to let this go for the month.

  • Getting out of debt: Making some major progress, though I'm still finding myself wanting retail comfort. Finding it hard to resist sales, but also realizing that they are keeping us from our bigger goals.

This month I'm going to also work with the Sacred Bow challenge for reflecting on what I did this year. Hoping that will bring back some of the fire I have had for programming, game design, and exploration. Right now I'm feeling adrift and numb to them. Trying to think of larger projects is just inconceivable. I feel spent and tired.