Designing a Well Lived Life: Checking In (May 2021)

Checking in for May for my "Designing a Well-Lived Life" blogging. This is about making small changes during the year to make larger changes.

  • Work on my game projects at least three times a week: Fell off the wagon on this. This month was more about recuperating and refocusing. Last month my focus was on Penguicon and this month my focus was pretty well shattered. I haven't wanted to work on my projects at all over the past month, even though when I do look at them I find some enjoyment there. It's piling up some guilt in there for not having looked at them, which is heightening the anxiety around returning to these projects. I'm going to work on just doing little bits and pieces each day to lower the stakes and get my projects moving again.

  • Meditation and mindfulness: Did short meditations in the morning when I remembered to do so and am aware whenever I am feeling anxiety, but overall it's been a secondary concern. I have noticed that i do compare a lot with what I consider "normal", and am working with dropping that comparison by noticing if the comparison is true.

  • Work with less distractions and more focus on deeper work (Relentlessly prune bullshit): Some days I'm able to be less distracted and more focused, but I've also noticed later at night I become a fog of indecision and thought (this is later at night). I'm feeling like my task lists are over-full (because I haven't moved on some of them) and that adds to the desire for distractions. I have been thinking deeply about game design and solo gaming so that has been insightful.

  • Walk or ride the recumbent bike at least four times a week: Did some walking, but am still a stranger to the recumbent bike. Also need to do more exercise in general as my muscle tone isn't great. Yipes.

  • Get further out of debt: Making steady progress, although I've been slipping into bad habits again. Going to pull back in June and make a conscious effort to use more of what I have rather than try to keep acquiring more.

  • Play more games: Did better about this, though I did more reading about games rather than actual play. I used understanding board game rules one week to practice with my feelings of frustration around things that I didn't understand and that was enlightening. Interesting to see how interconnected many of these feeling are and their responses.

  • Spend at least one night a week working on programming projects: No progress. I'm disconnected from wanting to work on programming stuff.

  • Declutter and make our place more alive: "Circumstances" are making this a priority. That's what's been weighing heavily on my mind this past month. I'm making space because I know there's more stuff that will be coming our way. I've also been going through and trying to pull out things that are no longer relevant or can be better served elsewhere. That's leading to some interesting thoughts about my relationship with my stuff and what is important. It's also had me thinking about what's the efficient way of finding new places for these things. More to come on this next month.

Overall this has been an interesting month. The main word is "impacted", as it feels like a lot of things have not been moving and flowing. Hoping to have some better news for next month.