Content warning: bodily functions a-plenty in this one.
I've mentioned before that my medications can give me an alternating constipation and diarrhea. Most of my anti-nausea drugs have constipation as one of their side-effects, and many of my chemotherapy drugs have diarrhea as one of their main side-effects. This can lead to a strange dichotomy where I go from can't poop enough to can't stop pooping.
Remember when this was an occasional blog that had deep thoughts about productivity, programming, and occasional caption contests? Yeah, me either.
This morning was an instance of that. I woke up and spent the balance of the morning trying to make stuff happen. Without getting even more graphic stuff did happen, and happened plenty. Once I finished up everything I went into the other room to make coffee. As I approached the coffee pot I noticed that familiar feeling. "You have got to be kidding me, I was just in the bathroom. I went to grab my phone but by then it was too late. I couldn't make it into the bathroom without things starting to take their course. "Son of a bitch!" I exclaimed.
Fortunately things were mostly contained. I did some minor clean-up and performed an almost routine removal of soiled garments to send to the trash.
I was reminded of an article that Coyote Jackson shared back in 2020 about what I learned from pooping my pants. At the time I thought it was a rather weird article. But in a way it's been a constant reminder for me each time this happens. It's practicing moving from abject fear and panic to just being in the moment. I was hoping I wouldn't have so many practice areas but unfortunately we can't predict what the future holds for us. We just have this moment to be in. We can struggle, feel shame, or try to run away from our distress or we can embrace what happens and clean up the messes as they occur.
We can also find the beauty in all of this. I got my shower early today, and had a clear idea of what I'd be blogging about today. Not every day can start with a placid Morning Mood. Sometimes our mornings are a little more... chaotic. We just have to be present with whatever happens along the way.