1. Eyeballs and gullets

    Hope you didn't expect to get much use from that TiVo unit, because

    ABC doesn't much care for you hopping around to other stations to record their programs. They've been screwing with the schedules to revent TiVo owners from only recording what they want. Think broadcast TV will stand for …

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  2. I'll say it extra slow for those who need it

    Ladies and gentlemen.

    That white stuff on the ground? It's called SNOW. We get that here in Michigan. Don't worry, it won't bite your car. You can drive in it, and you can drive faster than 5 MPH in it. It's OK. We don't have a law that states that …

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