You know you've watched too many cartoons when you listen to (Il barbiere di Siviglia: Overture) and you instantly think of the lyrics to the cartoon "The Rabbit of Seville".

Here is yet another installment of "Things Not to Say to an Astronomer" #1,282:

JoDee: Here's a picture of the Pelaides. Isn't that cool?

Me: Yeah. "Hey Pelaides!" (in the style of The Beastie Boys: "Hey Ladies").

JoDee: Jerk.

Remember, I do the dumb things so you don't have …

When your entire business model is pretty much a moot point in the digital age your best line of defense is to go the paranoia route.

Never mind that said directory arrived in an unsealed envelope to our house, and anyone in said congregation has access to your address / phone …

I'm starting a new food movement called "voweltarianism". This is the movement that won't eat things that have more consonants than vowels.

So for instance beets are not OK, but a single beet is fine.

Avocado is fine but avocados aren't.

And potatoes are OK but potato chips aren't. Carrots …

Still...