I don't know how the spammers managed to do it, but I think they've nailed my biggest problems. From an actual spam I received:

You are used to eating shit? [brand name] can make you do away with all your habits.

I feel... liberated.

Ever had one of those days where you felt like you couldn't concentrate for anything? Ever had one of those days where your nose didn't stop running? Ever felt like (*honk*) your head wasn't attached to your body? (Pretty clouds).

Yeah, me neither. (Oh! Fluffy!)

Here's a reason to try for success all the time.

According to Reuters, a gentleman in Germany tried to kill himself by jumping in front of a train. Unfortunately (or fortunately) he miscalculated, and instead jumped through the window of the engine room, and damaged the train. Now, you'd think …

Consider those long coding sessions over. Apparently a gentleman in Britain suffered Deep Vein Thrombosis after an 8 hour session. From the article: "An IT worker who collapsed with a blood clot after sitting at his desk for hours has warned of the danger of DVT."

Guys, there's precious few of you out there that can pull this off, so unless you ride a horse named Silver and have a Faithful Indian Companion named Tonto, or unless your name is Roy Rodgers, please reconsider wearing that stupid cowboy hat. It looks completely ridiculous on you (especially …