How I want to show up

I've been thinking a lot lately (usually in the early morning hours after Pixel gets me up for her 4-5am feeding, and I can't get back to sleep, or just before I go to bed) about how my life is going and what things I want to focus on in the coming months. I've been having a hard time figuring out which of my projects I want to give attention to, or how they'll look like now that I've thought about adding a computerized element to them. This has frozen me pretty hard and I haven't made any progress with my projects (save for a few low-hanging fruit projects). This is in part because I've been tired, but also because I've found myself dodging the question by hanging out more on social media and other platforms (forums, Discord, etc.). I'm not sure those are the best use of my time (though they are a use of my time). That got me thinking about how I want to "show up" in my life. How do I want to approach the day. I always feel like I don't have enough time for my projects and then I starve them by not working on my projects. That's not smart. It creates a feedback loop where I'm OK with not working on my projects at all and then feeling like crap that I'm not working on them.

So I've decided that I'm going to cut back more on what I put my attention toward. I've found that using command-line utilities for social media is more helpful for allowing me to not get stuck into a time-sink of just endlessly scrolling and finding bright and shiny baubles to play with. This is evergreen for me, and it's one of the things that I struggle with. The lives of others are so much more interesting! I also want to be there for folks that are having a rough go of it. I'm not sure it helps, but I hope ti does.

I've also been decluttering a lot of things in our basement. I'm getting rid of a lot of board games because they're not only taking up space being unplayed, they're also taking up psychic space for me wondering if they should ever be played. That's silly. I have better things to think about. Perhaps I'll use some of that social media time for decluttering instead.

I want to be more intentional about how I'm spending my time. Just bringing the computer into every room of the house is adding to the temptation of popping online to see what's going on. I need to find a more constructive way to use the machine.

All this is to say that I'm looking to make changes. I'm not sure how many more years I have on this planet and what those years might bring so I need to take advantage of the relative calm I have now and suck the marrow out of each moment.

More to come.