It's never cake

We got the results of my PET scan from last week. I have a saying about medical results now: "It's never cake", meaning that the likelihood of some positive news is unlikely. Well, the latest results bear this out. The cancer in my rectum seems to be shrinking but the cancer in my liver is still growing in certain spots. So that's not great. I had the Shingrex vaccine prior to the scan so the results in my lymph nodes might be related to the vaccine.

So, not great. I'm not sure what these results mean (I have visits with the doctors at the end of the month) but it looks like the chemo is doing only part of the work needed. Perhaps it means different chemo for the liver, or radiation, or carving up my liver like Christmas Dinner. I'm not sure, but it's put a bit of a damper on the mood in our house. I'm pretty much convinced I'm going to be dealing with this the rest of my life (whatever that means). No easy fixes, no shortcuts.i

Living the rest of my life with cancer is hard to think of. I've spent most of my life not thinking about cancer. Sure, I've thought about it in horrified terms and hoping that it wouldn't happen, and now I'm faced with the prospects of possible surgeries and a lifetime of treatment.

I don't know what the future will bring, but I'm still accepting that there's never cake.