Checking in for 2023-07-31:
- Last week my intention was to work with my own self-criticism. I realized that most times when I'm tired that my self-criticism goes through the roof. I've noticed this a lot because the Lonsurf seems to wipe me out. This is something I'm continuing to work on.
- I also noticed myself getting super-frustrated with my situation. JoDee brought up "Good Omens 2" on the TV. About three minutes in my stomach decided to rebel. She was OK with pausing it but I knew this was going to be long-haul diarrhea that takes about 20 minutes to settle down. I told her to watch it without me. The fact that something simple like watching TV together was interrupted by my body threw me into a depressive state. When I finally left the bathroom I just went downstairs and listened to angry music. Then I brought up Bespoke and made some angry sounds into my headphones. I added all the reverb and distortion I could stomach and just let it rip in a distorted feedback mess. I even played with the vocoder. It was cathartic but also resulted in me getting to bed super late. Definitely not my smartest move but something that felt necessary.
- I get two days of rest for the Lonsurf before I have to start again. At least I know what to expect this time around.
- My dad and I did the lawn this morning. It felt good getting the lawn under control again. I'm not a huge fan of lawns but I did enjoy the exercise. I don't get enough of it.
- Also played drums for a bit today. Need to work on getting my fills more solid.
- Didn't feel like working on my interactive storyworld but managed to get another encounter written. That felt good and set the tone for the rest of the day from being a tired mess to feeling somewhat productive.
More as I know it.