Checking in for 2023-12-18:
Last week my intention was to practice with the overwhelming feelings that I've been facing. I think I practiced a little too hard because I didn't really do much last week. I spent a lot of time working on a problem with my Hearsay engine. I also gave myself some time to rest and recuperate. This week I'm hoping to be more consistent with my work and keep things moving forward.
I managed to do a weekly review today. I usually do these on either Friday or Saturday. Saturday was taken up with PyOhio and I didn't get to this on Friday. I think I have a clear path forward on the things that I want to have accomplished this week.
I also worked on the Sacred Bow. I'm to the point of "Letting Go". Much of what I have to let go is concerns around my disease. Things like wondering abut my tiredness and sticking too close too home because I might shit myself are at the top of this list, but even things like accepting help and letting go of the frustrations around this are also present. My reflections list from my letting go list include:
- I can't control my tiredness, but I can control how I engage with it
- I can let myself just let the day unfold without trying to control it
- Exercise is starting to become more important to my quality of life
- I limit myself by thinking small and not being more courageous
- I need to live in the present without worrying so much about the future
It doesn't seem like a lot but there's some profound thoughts in there.
This week I also have my CAT scan. I'm a little nervous about it but again, I'm not going to worry so much about trying to control things that are outside of my control.
Also, my blood pressure was 150 over 87 today. Considering that it's been considerably higher I'll take the small win.
More as I know it.