Here's a list of things I'd like to do to mass-marketers:

1. Sign up for mailing lists using Klingon names. That way, when the name is sold, I can field calls for "P'uk Talth!"
2. Sign up for mailing lists using the name "Huang Zefonup". ("Hello, may I speak with Huang Zefonup …

Follow your nose. (It always knows. :) )

While waiting in the checkout lane at Meijer:

Daughter (to NASCAR mom): Ow, he hit me with a Slim Jim.

Found on the back of a magnifying glass. what disturbs me is they printed the "Using handtools can be dangerous..." warning directly on the package, and then put the "Keep away from direct sunlight..." on the package as a sticker, as though it were an afterthought. "Oh, gee... you can …

Kevin "Ass-Clown" Federline, with is latest single Peanut Butter Federline. Enjoy!