This morning I woke up at 4am to take JoDee and my mom to a day-trip. Had everything gone according to plan I would have been on the road a little after 5am.

Unfortunately at 5am I was still in the bathroom dealing with stuff. I couldn't complete my commitment.

Fortunately we had a backup in place, but I felt really angry and disappointed in myself. I like to be able to meet my commitments and help wherever I can. If something seems impossible I want to bring out my sword and slash the impossible into little possible chunks.

But it wasn't meant to be.

I'm not going to lie; that put me in a depressive state. I sat in front of the computer thinking of my projects and wondering "what's the point of it all?". I should have recognized that I was tired. I went to lay down to think and wound up sleeping for two hours.

When I couldn't get my head together in the afternoon I did a similar lay-down. That also resulted in another couple-hour-nap.

I can't say that I'm surprised by this, but it reiterates that I'm not well and that sometimes I need to acknowledge that things are going to be more difficult for me.

I'll keep pushing myself as much as I can. That's just my nature. But I need to recognize that what was simple before can sometimes be more challenging. And I need to remember that when it all feels hopeless and bleak that what I probably need is a good nap.