Checking In: 2023-08-03

Checking in for 2023-08-03:

  • I'm taking today off as a "retreat". What exactly does that mean for someone who is "retired"?? It means I'm going to do my best to just relax and recharge. Some times I've called this a "fedi-break" but this one is more encompassing. I'm going to go through my lists and just park things that aren't getting done any time soon and give myself some time to think about what I wan to be focusing on in the coming weeks and months.
  • Gencon is this weekend and I've never felt more disconnected from the term "gamer". I think I'm OK with this, though. That term has become so completely poisoned over the years by spoiled man-children that feel their "investments" of cash and 40+ hours of entertainment are somehow the equivalent of a world-spanning atrocity if they feel even the slightest bit of discomfort with the exercise. This isn't a slight against Gencon itself or the people who attend (most of which I've found to be charming, gracious, and lovely people) but it's a reminder that I'm pretty much reliant on there being an online presence for any event or I'm physically incapable of going. I sighed up for one online event and then refunded my ticket because my energy and ability to engage has suffered as of late. I think this is just a mild depression as being "one who plays games" was a pretty core part of my identity and I'm having to let that go in some ways (the demise of G+, my distaste for video games, and my needing to pull back on what has my attention). I'll need to blog more about these feelings because this bullet point is a jumbled mess of thoughts, but I wanted to get it out there.
  • I'm tired. I slept until almost 9:30 a.m. this morning. JoDee reminded me that I'm basically getting chemo all the time now with the Lonsurf. She's right, of course. That's also contributing to my narrowed focus.
  • Next week is the parade of doctors. I have appointments most days next week.
  • Working with noticing my discomfort and understanding where it's coming from.

More as I know it.