I've had this mental mind while decluttering and determining what I still want in my life. One of the metaphors I've found helpful for me are whether things are there because I want them to be there or whether they were put there by ghosts. It's a neat metaphor for me because ghosts are portrayed as capricious beings with otherworldly intentions that try to effect their change on the world via external means. In some ways our past selves are like ghosts; trying to enact their changes on the living even though they themselves are long departed.

I noticed this most strongly in my bookshelves. My bookshelves have over time collected the shoulds, coulds, dids, and (of course) the WTFs of my life. Sometimes I just need to go through and see what is current and what is no longer relevant.

One of my recent discoveries was is known as the d20 system. This is the engine that powers Dungeons & Dragons (and many, many other games that trace their lineage to d20). I realized that I have no interest in initiating play with this game and consider it a design dead-end for me. Part of that is because I'm finding other systems more interesting, but also because there have been (and continue to be) clever folks playing in that space for longer than I have. So why keep something that is essentially dead-weight on my shelves and my subconscious? Same with GURPS. I'm making space for ghosts. These ghosts were the person who was curious about RPGs and decided to collect everything I could for GURPS, 13th Age, and others. That version of me isn't here anymore, so why keep letting him influence how I'll live my life today?

(Aside: 13th Age is still the system that I would recommend for anyone curious about d20 systems. Pelgrane Press is awesome and you should totally support them. Just because it doesn't work for me doesn't mean it won't work for you. Give them money.)

As I look on my life I'm realizing that realistically I have more years behind me than ahead of me, and living with ghosts of past relationships, past interests, and past versions of me is not something I feel like carting around anymore. If my interests change then I ca revisit that later, but I literally don't have the time or the space to try to cater to the wishes of ghosts. Sorry, but they'll have to look elsewhere.

Craig Maloney More than you cared to know

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